Nails in the fence
June 1, 2011 at 3:36 pm 7 comments
I got an email with the following message.
Thanks to Shri Anil Shah for the same
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There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, ‘You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Remember that friends are very rare jewels indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed; They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.
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Very very true
But the end is not THE END. I feel like adding….
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It always happens in our vane lives, that we drive nails; repent and drive them out; and yet …..
The holes in fence remain.
But…
We can feel the holes and whitewash the fence and make it look better.
How in life?
Repentance is best when one owns the responsibilty and asks for a pardon with true emotion and commitment- repeatedly in one’s own solitude and in witness of one’s TRUE SELF and the supreme power.
Doing so everyday, empowers the rudimentary being. Then one starts living in PRESENT; in NOW.
And if we really live
in the PRESENT;
the past vanishes.
The fence is whitewashed.
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1.
chandravadan | June 1, 2011 at 4:41 pm
The Post of a Story of a Boy with the temper.
His Father instructing him to hammer Nails into the Fence till his Anger vanishes….
1st day 37 Nails..then slowly less & less.
When all the Nails in the Fence, his Father telling him to take out ALL Nails…
After all nails out the Fence is with Holes..So his Father telling him that the Fence is NOT the same as before !
The Morale of the Story is…What you do in ANGER always leave the Scars of the “hurts”in others….So one must control the ANGER.
NOW…
Let us analyse beyond this !
If one makes the mistake of getting ANGRY, and does smething terible….if he/she realises the “mistake” and make the “Apology” Then it is the 1st Right Step.
If he takes the steps to “control the Mind” and the Anger is rooted out..he takes the Essential Step in the Life.
If he is truely a Changed Person ..and then then then the Person he had hurt in the Past gets the “True Healing”…..the Holes in the Fence (Heart) had vanished for good.
The Past incident then becomes a “blessing in Disguise” and one will NEVER have the “Guilt Trips” in the Life he/she is living.
That is the TRUE REMORSE !
This is NOT the Whitewashing..it is the MIRACLE with the OLD HOLES gone !
DR. CHANDRAVADAN MISTRY
http://www.chandrapukar.wordpress.com
Inviting all to Chandrapukar !
2.
સુરેશ જાની | June 1, 2011 at 10:35 pm
Dear CM
The human psychology is not as simple as that. Even if one remorses, the ghost of past deeds hangs over – famous story of ‘Hamlet’. OR the damages already done can not be undone.
My purpose of writing beyond the story is-
There are always positive possibilities.
Famous case as example –
Pirate Valmik becoming ‘ Valmiki’ – author of Ramayana.
3.
pragnaju | June 1, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Inspiring story
We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don’t think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you’re hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.
4.
સુરેશ જાની | June 1, 2011 at 10:30 pm
Story is for a bad past – not a memorable one ! Though true, it is negative
‘Power of Now’ / Vipassana teache to realize it in a jiffy
Dada Bhagwan’s method is totally opposite.
But both work !
My cardinal point is ‘ Holes the nails create ‘ should not be in focus.
Focus on the ‘JOY OF NOW’
5.
Sharad Shah | June 1, 2011 at 11:24 pm
REPENTANCE
Repentance means retrospective awareness, repentance means looking backwards. You have done something. If you were aware then no wrong can happen, but you were not aware at the time you did it. Somebody insulted — you became angry, you hit him on the head. You were not aware what you were doing. Now things have cooled down, the situation has gone, you are no more in anger; you can look backwards more easily. You missed awareness at that time. The best thing was to have awareness at that time, but you missed it, and now there is no point in crying and weeping over the spilt milk. But you can look, you can bring awareness to that which has already happened.
That is what Mahavir calls pratycraman, looking back; what Patanjali calls pratyahar, looking in. That’s what Jesus calls repentance. That’s what Buddha calls pashchattap. It is not feeling sorry, it is not just feeling bad about it, because that is not going to help. It is becoming aware, it is reliving the experience as it should have been. You have to move into it again.
You missed awareness in that moment; you were over flooded by unconsciousness. Now things have cooled, you’ll take your awareness, the light of awareness, back. You move in that incident again, you look into it again as you should have really done; that is gone, but you can do it retrospectively in your mind. And Buddha says this cleanses the heart of the evil.
This looking back, continuously looking back, will make you more and more aware. There are three stages. You have done something, then you become aware — first stage. Second stage: you are doing something, and you become aware. And third stage: you are going to do something, and you become aware. Only in the third stage will your life be transformed. But the first two are necessary for the third, they are necessary steps.
Whenever you can become aware, become aware. You have been angry — now sit down, meditate, become aware what has happened. Ordinarily we do it, but we do for wrong reasons. We do it to put our image back in its right place. You always think you are a very loving person, compassionate, and then you suddenly become angry. Now your image is distorted in your own eyes. You do a sort of repentance. You go to the person and you say, ‘I am sorry.’ What are you doing? You are repainting your image.
Your ego is trying to repaint the image, because you have fallen in your own eyes, you have fallen in others’ eyes. Now you are trying to rationalize. At least you can go and say, ‘I am sorry. I did it in spite of myself. I don’t know how it happened, I don’t know what evil force took possession of me, but I am sorry. Forgive me.’
You are trying to come back to the same level where you were before you became angry. This is a trick of the ego, this is not real repentance. Again you will do the same thing.
Buddha says real repentance is remembering it, going into the details fully aware of what happened; going backwards, reliving the experience. Reliving the experience is like unwinding; it erases. And not only that — it makes you capable of more awareness, because awareness is practiced when you are remembering it, when you are becoming again aware about the past incident. You are getting a discipline in awareness, in mindfulness. Next time you will become aware a little earlier.
This time you were angry; after two hours you could cool dawn. Next time after one hour you will cool down. Next time after a few minutes. Next time, just as it has happened you will cool down and you will be able to see. By and by, by slow progression, one day while you are angry you will catch hold of yourself red-handed. And that is a beautiful experience — to catch yourself red-handed committing an error. Then suddenly the whole quality changes, because whenever awareness penetrates you, reactions stop.
This anger is a childish reaction; it is the child in you. It is coming from the C. And later on, when you feel sorry, that is coming from the P, from the parent. The parent forces you to feel sorry and go and ask forgiveness. You have not been good to your mother or to your uncle — go and put things right.
Or it can come from A, from your adult mind. You have been angry and later on you recognize that this is going to be too much; there is a financial loss in it. You have been angry with your boss, now you become afraid. Now you start thinking he may throw you out, or he may carry the anger within him. Your salary was going to be raised; he may not raise it — a thousand and one things… you would like to put things right.
When Buddha says repent, he’s not telling you to function from C or P or A. He is saying when you become aware, sit down, close your eyes, meditate upon the whole thing — become a watcher. You missed the situation, but still something can be done about it: you can watch it. You can watch it as it should have been watched. You can practice, this will be a rehearsal, and by the time you have watched the whole situation you will feel completely okay.
If then you feel like going and asking forgiveness, for no other reasons — neither the parent, nor the adult, nor the child — but out of sheer understanding, out of sheer meditation that it was wrong…. It was not wrong for any other reason; it was wrong because you behaved in an unconscious way. Let me repeat it. You go and you ask for forgiveness not for any other reason — financial, social, political, cultural; no — you simply go there because you meditated on it and you recognized and you realized the fact that you acted in unawareness; you have hurt somebody in unawareness.
You have to go and console the person at least. You have to go and help the person to understand your helplessness — that you are an unconscious person, that you are a human being with all the limitations, that you are sorry. It is not putting your ego back; it is simply doing something which your meditation has showed you. It is totally a different dimension.
Source – Osho Book “The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1″
6.
dhavalrajgeera | June 2, 2011 at 6:07 am
Learn to live…
Staying Alive is an art!
7.
Ramesh Patel | June 2, 2011 at 5:42 pm
ધ્યેય એક જ કે ક્રોધ વડે જીવનને બરબાદ ના કરો અને થઈ જાય તો કબૂલાત કરી ના થાય
તેવું આચરી બતાવો.
રમેશ પટેલ(આકાશદીપ)